LAPTOP LOUNGERS LAZING AT YOUR EXPENSE
When did anyone, anywhere, mention that bringing a laptop, notebook, pens, paper, phone and assorted office paraphernalia to a café and setting up a little ‘office’ space within – was acceptable? Can anyone remember when this became a thing?
Sitting in a large café yesterday- in recent years acquired by a global corporation- a lady close by had one such set up. She was settled onto a table for four with the open laptop, her notebook open on the table, the mobile, some pens and a single cup of coffee. She was entirely oblivious to the world around her as she ‘wrote her novel’, ‘filled in her diary’ ‘emailed clients’ ‘ran her business’. A good-sized incendiary device could have detonated nearby, and it is unlikely she would have registered it.
In theory, because of the size of this particular café – at least 150 seats, it could be argued that she wasn’t doing anyone any harm as there seemed to be plenty of tables to go round. However, come 12.30pm and see the scrum for any available seating. Then, this oblivious laptop lounger might be inclined to feel pressure to wrap up her office and leave – unlikely though.
The growth of these laptop loungers across our cafes in particular, is becoming a real problem for owners. These customers are mostly of no value whatsoever to the business. They come in and buy a coffee and a breakfast/ snack. Super, they have spent some money, however if they are still there hovering over their laptop three hours later then the owner needed to turn that table over at least once and preferably twice; that person is now a liability to the business.
When that café has about 30-40 seats which have to turn over many times a day for the business to have any chance of making a profit, this menace needs to be dealt with. It is my firm belief that café owners are being too polite.
Few pointers here. People will say, ‘I am working from home, it is lonely, I need some social stimulation’. Fine, but then leave your laptop at home. Sitting over a laptop in a café is not getting social stimulation, it is merely creating a little antisocial bubble around you and denying the business the space for real customers who wish to use the café for its intended purpose.
A café is a haven from the world – becoming increasingly scary – a space to take real time out, to chat, enjoy an oasis of calm which many independent café do so well, a space to feel safe and minded. All well until someone plonks down beside you with their home office in tow. Bringing all your daytime worries and night time terrors into your lap. The coffee that tasted smooth is now bitter, the cake that was crumbly and delectable is now dry and sticking to the top of your mouth as you remember all those mails waiting for you, the long to do list back at the office, the unfinished business that you left behind.
Can we start a ‘polite’ campaign to encourage the ‘laptop loungers’ to leave the laptop at home. Cafes might get a fighting chance of making it work and we might all reclaim our safe and nourishing spaces.
What do you think?